I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You have to summon your inner elephant
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
