Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
