I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
