If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
