you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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