I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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