she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
