Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
