Yo dont text me then not text me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
