we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize