I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
