I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
