I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
