I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
