Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
