Already got asked if we're dating
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
