Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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