she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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