I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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