If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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