Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
