What a fucking waste of an outfit
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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