Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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