i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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