"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
