I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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