actually, I'm a sock model
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
