Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
