But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
