The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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