I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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