just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
