You just made me feel so damn special
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
