i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
