remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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