So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
