super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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