So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
