A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
