Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's blow job season.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My bed smells like the plague
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
