You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
