At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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