uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
