I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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