I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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