she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
