I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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