Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
