You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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