I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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